“Til death do us part,” is a common verse in traditional marriage ceremonies, but do our vows and our relationships really end at death?
And do we really ‘part’ from those we love the most, or are they still around us? I can understand that our faithful monogamous obligation may come to a completion at death, but in some cases, moving on with someone else may seem impossible, or even inappropriate by our friends, family and our in-laws.
If you ask someone who just lost their spouse if they are still married, often times they will say yes. This may be the case for years after the death of their partner, and then the decision to take one’s wedding ring off, is not without intense emotion and consideration.
I recently did a reading for a 30-something year old man who had been been mourning the passing of his late wife.
David* and his wife Laura* were high school sweethearts before she had passed away in a sudden accident three years prior to his reading. Grief had consumed him and it was his desire to communicate with his late love for some resolve. She soon made her presence known and was able to provide several pieces of evidence to prove to David that she was there, in spirit, without question. Laura told him that she remembered him being in the car with her and that he tried to revive her after impact, and thanked him for his help, although unfortunately, there was nothing he could do.
She started talking about some memories they shared together and advised that like most couples, they were planning on buying a house and wanted to start a family. David agreed. Laura wanted him to know that it was her wish for him to continue to fulfil this desire so that he may move forward and live his life in full.
She further advised that she knew that David had just started dating a new lady that had unexpectedly come into his life. David confirmed that he had indeed just started seeing somebody new within the past 6 months and revealed his guilt as he felt as though he was cheating on his wife in spirit. She then showed me how he met his new love and that the circumstances around it were completely by chance and totally unexpected. She went on to say that it was herself, that set up this ‘chance’ meeting and that she had placed the new love in his path.
At first he struggled with this concept until his late wife said that she didn’t want him to feel any guilt about his new girlfriend and that she wanted him to know that she was so excited that they will soon be having a child together.
With much excitement, and to his surprise, David confirmed that earlier that week, he and his girlfriend were advised they were expecting their first child. This baby, a new life, was totally unplanned and something that they were both shocked, but pleasantly surprised about.
David struggled with confusion on whether he should feel sad that this experience was not going to be with his late wife, or if he should allow himself to be happy for the new joy that was coming his way. Laura again confirmed that not only did he have her blessings, but that she helped orchestrate this positive direction for him.
So that begs the question, is it really ’til death do us part’, because if you ask me, it would appear that our loved ones in spirit are still loving and looking after us long after their ‘physical’ departure.
*Names have been changed for privacy | Originally Published In Duo Magazine: http://duomagazine.com.au/community/can-you-love-again/